Happiness by an Unexpected Path

This is the face of a happy man. He is off to start his first day at work. Brandon can hardly contain his excitement at getting a job at the Doheny Eye Institute. You will have to get him to give you the details of his work there. Believe me, he will be more than happy to share it with you. Be sure to ask about the slide.

As excited as were are about this unbelievable opportunity for him. We have found ourselves filled with overwhelming gratitude for the Lord’s kindness to us over the last many months. We had something of a naïve idea coming out here that Brandon would get a job right away, and we thought we would be the generous ones with our neighbors and friends out here. But the Lord chose to take us by another path. If we hadn’t experienced the lack and the struggle of the last months we would not have experienced the Lord’s physical provision. Please don’t take this for a superficial “God is so good” though He is. Something has changed deep within us from these experiences. One of the most heartrending provisions was the anonymous payment of our rent for the month of November. We were blown away by God’s care for us. Someone saw us and our need and took it upon themselves to meet our need. We were utterly stunned. It changed how we look at our possessions and money. We have also been blessed by cards and letters from home that have happened to include money at just the right times. The fact that Brandon got any freelance work at all in this great big city is a miracle in of itself and another display of the Lord's great kindness.

We are also learning that God’s care and provision extend far beyond our physical bodies. God is working in us ALL OF THE TIME to open us to the truth ourselves in relationship with Him. He uses everyday circumstances to bring up the stuff in our hearts that we have tried hard to keep down. We are learning to open to the Lord in all things. This practice is teaching us how to attend to the Holy Spirit.

I, in particular, have a lot to learn about this. The prayer project I was given in one of my classes last week was to pray Psalm 139:23-24 every day, preferably in the morning, and ask the Lord to peel back the layers of my heart throughout the course of the day. By the end of the week, I realized how completely inattentive I can be to the Lord because I have not even invited Him into my conscious awareness. I believe Dr. Coe (one of my professors) when he says that you have to develop this habit of heart to pray without ceasing. It does not come naturally. I have been made very aware of that this week. I can go whole chunks of the day without even thinking about the Lord or attempting to connect with Him. I believe that He is working all of the time at showing me my heart, but I can be pretty oblivious and, at times, altogether uninterested. Another layer of my hidden heart exposed… my ambivalence toward the Lord. There are parts of me that this awareness pains deeply and other parts that say, “yep, that’s about right.”

dez

Psalm 139:23-24 (NASB)
Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful (literally “painful”) way in me,

And lead me in the everlasting way.