Painting at the Artists' Retreat

The artist retreat was a wonderful time to sit down and paint. Though I was sketching what I saw in the outdoors, I find I often use my sketches (in combination with journaling) as a sort of interactive prayer, and this weekend was particularly inspiring, for a number of reasons.

First, I had to go through all my art supplies. I've done some loose sketching outdoors before, but I've (and I'm somewhat surprised to say this) never really painted outdoors. I was inspired by a few blog posts I found, including this outdoor painting tutorial and this entry by James Gurney. (I highly recommend his blog by the way.)

So I distilled my art supplies into a surprisingly small bag, and started my first endeavor into outdoor painting/drawing. (I actually chose to use a mixture of ink pens, ink wash, and watercolor, so I'm not sure if it's better described as painting or drawing. I'll use the two terms interchangeably until further advised.)

[My drawings.]

[Photo's of what I was painting from.]

I'll quote from my journal here to explain what I was thinking about as I drew these:

In the morning I felt the need to climb something. Somehow my drawing required something more, something difficult. I ascended a steep hill. I walked past many things worthy of being drawn. I asked myself "at what point is it time to stop? Which scene will I paint?"

I kept moving. Something drove me on. A destination perhaps? Would fatigue stop me? I am not sure. It's as if I needed to earn or prove something. At last I settled upon a spot, a downward spiraling path. The painting went better than i would have hoped.

On the way back I thought it strange to walk uphill so much to paint a downhill scene. I thought how hard it was to ascend, but how easy it is to descend....I began thinking about how normally we think it hard to ascend up to God, how much work it is to "get to heaven", or "see God", or "be good", etc. I'm reminded of the painting "The Heavenly Ladder of Saint John Climacus" with pious souls climbing the ladder to God and flying demons knocking them off.

[The Heavenly Ladder of Saint John Climacus, 12th Century]

Even Christian from the Pilgrim's Progress is reminiscent of this mountain climbing theme. But ascension is not where I am at. Like Dante, I am descending. And descent is hard. It's hard to see myself as I am, and it's hard to receive love as I am. Perhaps this mirror's Christ's pattern, his "descent" from Gethsemane to the Cross to the Belly of the Earth was hard. Clearly. But his ascent to glory at the Father's side was, in a sense, easy. Descent and death are hard. Ascent and glory are easy. I tried to paint these things, but instead only struggled with ascending. As if work ascending might make descending easier, or more meaningful, or less painful.

What I'm saying is I found this amusing flip: ascending is difficult if it's a physical mountain, but easy if it is spiritual glory. Descending is easy while hiking, but descending into the soul is perhaps the hardest work we could ever do. It amazes me how often I try to ascend on my own under my own power to try and earn acceptance and love. Or how often I sit around and pray and wait for God to raise me up with his power so I can be accepted and loved by others. But the reality is, I need to go down. I need to descend.

The funny thing is, I don't see God at the top of a ladder. I don't see God in the heavens or standing upon a mountain. I see Him in my heart, in the deep waters, and it is to these deep waters that I hear Him inviting me. It is while I descend that I have my closest most meaningful moments with God. It is as I descend that I am most terrified. I've been throwing things into the basement of my soul for a long time, and it's become somewhat of a garbage pit. I really don't know what I'm going to find down there anymore. Except, as I mentioned, a God who is waiting for me.

(A proviso: when I say "deep waters" I am referring to the more hidden portions of our hearts, as described in Proverbs 20:5, not some sort of "deep thinking" or intellectual high-ground. I say this rather sloppily, but the strict rational mind has proven to me to be quite perilous when dealing with the deep waters, which are filled with emotions and feelings and beliefs and desires and a great many things that do not necessarily follow rhyme or reason.)

Birthday Extravaganza 12/18-19/07

Wow did I ever have a great birthday! Definitely in my top three of all time. Although it didn't start out very promising:
We got back from our honeymoon cruise on the 18th. Unfortunately we came home to a bit of a disaster. Facility Services was in our apartment replacing the kitchen sink and doing some work in the bathroom while we were gone. They weren't terribly considerate of the mess they made as there was an impressive layer of industrial strength dust on EVERYTHING we have--even in the cupboards. We had to leave for a while and regroup before returning to begin the massive clean-up effort. We even had some neighbors stop by to clean our rather large book shelves while Brandon and I scrubbed out the kitchen. It was an extremely disheartening day, but it was also an excellent distraction for me.

As it turns out Brandon had been conspiring with our neighbors to throw a surprise party for me. At the last minute the party was moved to our upstairs neighbors' place instead of the original off-site plan. So they were scrambling around trying get things ready without me seeing. We had our door and windows all open, so they were so worried that I would see them sneaking around. However, I was so engrossed with the in-depth cleaning that I had absolutely no clue. So I thought nothing of it when our upstairs neighbors stopped by and asked us to come over and tell them about our trip. When it was time to go I was wearing my dirty t-shirt and track pants from cleaning and had every intention of going that way. Brandon talked me into jeans and a sweater saying that it would make me feel better. I'm glad he did. Imagine my surprise when after we started visiting with the couple upstairs all of these people jumped out and yelled, "SURPRISE!!" and it was a surprise. They had me. It was fun to hear them tell stories about all of their sneaky business in arranging this party and working hard to keep me clueless. We had pizza and played Pit. Good times! I felt blessed and loved.

The next day was my actual birthday. There was lots of talking on the phone as friends and family called to wish me a happy birthday and to hear about our cruise. I got to go shopping with my neighbor Melissa to spend my birthday money while Brandon was at work. Brandon's present to me was tickets to see Wicked at the Pantages Theatre that night. I love getting dressed up and going out to enjoy performing arts of many kinds, but this was an especially enjoyable evening. Check out the link to find out more about this musical production. http://wickedthemusical.com/#AboutWicked

Artists' Retreat 11/16-18/07

Through a series of somewhat random events I found myself googling around about Catalina Island. Catalina is an island off the coast of Southern California, and through the course of my web surfing came across an InterVarsity Camp that was hosting an Artists' Retreat. We made arrangements to attend, and became very excited about it.

Arriving at the island required no small effort, and the camp itself is only accessible by boat. We drove to the docks, parked, and then boarded a ferry that transported us to the island's main city Avalon. From there we switched from the larger ferry to a smaller motorboat, which took us to the camp. It was night by the time we approached, the boat bouncing rather strongly in the waves as we traveled around the island. The darkness, the cold salty air, the turbulent boat ride, this last leg of the journey served to strip away the city from which we came and reset our senses for the duration of our stay. It was, perhaps, the best part. When we arrived, we had already been transformed.

[On the ferry, waiting to travel to Catalina Island.]


[On the motorboat.]

[Long Beach, where we parked our car.]

[The island, as seen in the sunlight, the next day.]

This "transformation" is perhaps best described by the fact that each morning we got up to watch the sunrise. This really surprised me, and for all you who know me, this should surprise you too. I am not known for being a morning person, but I couldn't keep myself away. Before I knew what had happened I was up watching the waves and the sunrise and these crazy birds dive into the water.

[Despite getting up early both mornings, the sunrises were actually pretty gray and foggy.]

We were placed in a lovely cabin beside the ocean. We had an ocean-view window. We could hear the waves at night. It was marvelous.

[We stayed on the beach.]

The retreat itself was beautifully structured. We arrived Friday evening. We met for a while on Friday so we could all introduce ourselves to each other. There were about 20 or so of us in total. Saturday we met after breakfast for a short while, then had the entire day to paint or draw. In the evening we met to share what we had created. Sunday morning we met after breakfast to conclude the retreat. The free-time-to-meeting-time ratio was not something I've ever experience on any Christian retreat before. It was a wonderful way to have an artists' retreat. I'll post my sketches separately.

[Normally around this time of year I would be deer hunting with my Dad and brothers. They did quite well this year without me, and as I was hiking around I saw this guy a few times.]

Tiff's Visit 11/3-5/07

Tiffany hails from La Crosse, WI and was a part of that great group of friends that Brandon and I came together in, so we were so thrilled to have another close friend from home come to see us in our corner of the world.

[At one point she had three birds sitting on her. Just like one of those princesses in one of those Disney movies. --Brandon]

It was an action packed weekend as we wanted to show Tiffany a good time in this great big city of ours. Saturday we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach. Tiff wowed us with her encyclopedic knowledge of the marine world. We went to the sea lion/seal show, pet sting rays, and were introduced to some of her all time favorite fish.

Ironically, after a long day of fish watching, we decided to go out for sushi at Kabuki's, one of our favorite places out here. Brandon likes to treat our out of town guests to this experience. Tiffany was a great sport. We had an eel roll, california roll, alaska roll, scallop roll, and rainbow roll. We also tried some sake cocktails, which were much tastier than straight sake. Brandon really wishes he liked straight sake either hot or cold. He hopes every time that he tries it that it will become more palatable to him, but it never does. Bless his heart.

[This is Dez saying "Bless his heart..." -- Brandon]

Sunday was the Disneyland extravaganza. One of my friends from school works at Disneyland and blessed us with some free passes to both Disneyland and California Adventure. Tickets are normally about $90 to get into both parks, so this was a real treat.

[I'm the guy in the middle. --Brandon]

Tiffany and Brandon stayed up late the night before mapping out their attack plan to get the most possible out of this trip. It was cute to watch them strategizing and prioritizing (this is serious business!!), but their work payed off as we had a full and fun day--12 hours. I still love California Screaming--who thought I would like rollercoasters? I would also like to announce to the world that I beat Brandon on the Astroblasters (Buzz Lightyear) ride. Of course, he did demand a rematch and beat me soundly. All was right in his world again. Captain Jack Sparrow was entertaining crowds on Tom Sawyer's Island. He was a captivating performer. I think Tiffany has a little crush on him!

[I won't try to explain this picture, other than to say that I won. -- Brandon]

Monday, Tiffany I had some time to catch up. She also came to one of my classes with me. It was fun to show her my life out here. She said she even enjoyed the lecture and meeting my classmates. She was amazed at the level of relational intimacy we enjoy as a cohort in this program--we don't waste time with small talk, we spill our guts with each other.

When Brandon got home that night we went to In & Out for supper. This is a California Institution--an absolute must do. They keep it simple and make it great. You can choose from a hamburger, cheeseburger. or a double cheeseburger and that's it. They also serve fries and tasty shakes. Everything is fresh, even the french fries (they cut the potatoes right there). So good! After supper, Tiffany's friend from Encino came to pick her up. She's a new mom and Tiff was gonna give her a hand and some company for the rest of the week.

As it turns out she returned to Minneapolis on the same flight with the entire LA Galaxy soccer team. If you know what a huge a soccer fan Tiff is, you know this was a big deal! Even David Beckham gave her a little smile. The Galaxy were traveling to play the Minnesota Thunder in an exhibition game the next day, which Tiff attended with her family.

[ This is not a picture of David Beckham. -- Brandon]

Christmas Day

I got up bright and early this morning. Not so much to check my stocking but to do the dishes from Brandon's extravagant meal last night. Our deal is that Brandon does most of the cooking and I do all of the dishes. [That, I must add, is an awesome deal. For me. -- Brandon] Chefs spare no dishes when they are cooking, so there is always quite a pile when he's done. Though it is really hard to complain when he makes such good meals. After I had cleaned off some counter space, I put together a big pot of chili in the crock pot. I used serrano chilies and did my hands ever burn all day long. Clearly I am a novice at handling them. If anyone has any suggestions for avoiding the chemical burn from the chilies I'd love to hear about it.

Then we snuggled up to watch Flash Gordon, one of Brandon's childhood favorite films.

[This film is great. The music is by Queen. It's really just about the best imaginative crazy little film a sci-fi loving lad could have. It's got Hawkmen! Queen did the music! Max von Sydow outside of a depressing Ingmar-Bergman-film! and Queen! Yeah! -- Brandon]

You are not alone if you never heard of it, I hadn't either, but it was probably one of Brandon's favorite Christmas presents. [My two other favorites were: The Arcade Fire album "Neon Bible" from my friend Micah, and a wireless remote controlled helicopter from my parents. -- Brandon] The soundtrack is done entirely by Queen [Yeah! -- Brandon] causing some to classify it as a rock opera. It is a campy superhero story without the superpowers. Maybe that was it's point that you don't have to have superpowers to be a superhero. Flash Gordon is the hero for the common man apparently, for those of us who can't relate to extraordinary powers [Yet can relate Hawkmen. -- Brandon] .

Next, it was off to the beach. We went to Crystal Cove, our favorite beach out here, and wandered about until it was time to watch the sunset. Beautiful!! Watching the sun set behind Catalina Island as it sent it's sparkling rays over the waters is definitely not something we could do back in the Midwest.

[Really, the only thing that would make this scene better would be a soundtrack by Queen. And Hawkmen. Spelling out words as they fly in formation across the sky. Words like the lyrics from a great Queen soundtrack. Yeah! -- Brandon]

[Dez had fun writing things in the sand, since we had no Hawkmen to write things in the sky. -- Brandon]

[And after I stopped talking about Flash Gordon, Dez came back and cuddled up for this picture. But look at that smirk on my face. I'm totally going to say "Queen" again. Yeah! -- Brandon]

Lastly, we had our neighbors Raphael and Melissa over for supper. They like us, were among the very few in grad housing who didn't disperse to their various homelands for Christmas. I served up the chili that had been simmering all day. The smell alone made your mouth water. Brandon made some excellent guacamole. He must have chosen some perfectly ripe avocados as it was so flavorful. We use the recipe we found on Chipotlefan.com. We like to add more lime for extra zing in case your were wondering what our secret is. And of course there was good conversation and lots of laughter to complete this wonderful meal.

I am truly grateful for this time of life: to be married to Brandon, making it on our own in LA, the challenge and gift of my grad program, our wonderful neighbors with whom we delight in sharing life, faithful friends, that Brandon has a good job through which he's able to provide for us, and the opportunity to go on the deeper journey with the Lord both separately and together. My heart is full.

Can this be Christmas time?

I have to admit that it is more than a little strange to have sunny and 75 degree weather for Christmas. We are more familiar with the single digit temperature, gray, and snowy type Christmases back home. It's more like a gorgeous fall day here. The leaves are turned (well as much as they can in this temperate climate) and are slowly descending from their perches above. Today we decided to go to the park to celebrate this beautiful strangeness. Of course, we did stop at Starbucks for a special holiday coffee treat. Brandon had the eggnog latte and I had the peppermint mocha--delightful!!

Here are a few pics we took at the La Mirada Regional Park this afternoon:

[Dez has started taking artistic photographs. It's very exciting to see her express herself in this way. -- Brandon]

[Another of Dez's subjects. Leaves make her giddy. -- Brandon]

[If you're wondering how we get all these photo's of us, once again, it is Dez taking them. She's become quite adept at reaching forwards and pointing the camera back at us. -- Brandon]

[What is Christmas without ducks? (that is a setup...all you funny people out there can add the punchline.) -- Brandon]

It is also strange not to be with our families today. Our friends and family have faithfully and lovingly sent us Christmas cards and packages filled with treasures, but it's not at all the same as being with them. We miss you guys and will be thinking of you tonight when we open up those packages. At the same time, it's also been good for us to think about what it means to celebrate Christmas in our own way. What things did we do with our families that we would like to continue? What are some new things we would like to try? One thing we will keep the same is opening presents on Christmas eve night. That was always a very big deal in my house growing up because I don't think my dad could wait till Christmas morning. Something new for us will be a picnic on the beach on Christmas day.

Brandon is busy in the kitchen. He is making scallops and stuffed mushrooms for dinner tonight. He is quite the chef!

[Ah...she brags. Then again, I did create a photomontage of myself cooking... -- Brandon]

[End result: The scallops, though tasty, were slightly overcooked. I must have spent too much time posing for the camera. The veggies were good. The mushrooms had too much cream cheese, which made them an unfortunate blend of too rich and too disgusting. The snickerdoodles were as I remembered them from my childhood...chock full of the goodness. -- Brandon]

Peace and blessing to you dear family and friends in the name of our Lord Jesus.

The LORD bless you and keep you;
The LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
The LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.
Deuteronomy 8:24-26

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.
Luke 2:13-14